Presentations

All teams were well represented, with the Academy boys in the corner winning the best One Direction lookalike awards.

Vince's spray on denims won the heckle of the night from the Sunday XI, especially Judgie. It was thought that he got ready in his boy's Alex's room earlier in the evening and picked up the wrong jeans from the bed.

The Reserves were in best spirit and stayed all night before all heading off to The Venue. Although Rich Taps and Russell Neth tried to persuade me, I was having none of it. I didn't think Lee Cross or Dave Martin wanted an old fart like me cramping their style. Little do they know that he used to have many a dance at The Venue at the Duran-a-Goo-Goo tribute nights.

Couch nearly couldn't hold it together when he dedicated the President's Salver to Vic. Then we had a minute’s applause, which really starts hurting your hands after about 40 seconds. Or maybe the minute went on longer. Everyone was on their feet and not many dry eyes in the house. A fitting tribute indeed. Guest of honour, Doreen (Vic's sister) must have been very moved.

Colin Brazier got a round of applause for giving up Saturday football!!!

Ben Middleton cleaned up - winning 1st Team Players' Player and 1st Team Manager's Player and the Club's Stanley Cole Trophy. Shame his hair looked like a cross between The Fonz and one of the singers from Darts.

John Delaney's boy Tom won the club's coveted Wally Freeman Young Player Trophy. John was last seen sobbing uncontrollably in the car park.

During his compering, Couch admitted that he used to "play with John Delaney when he was younger", and that he used to “cuddle” Percy, the 1st team Manager when they returned on a Saturday from an away game. Don't think Keddle used to get that sort of affection. Only from Macey, one would suspect.

Sini won the Vic Goddard Trophy. Sini from the Senior Vets. Couch couldn't pronounce his surname. To be fair to Couch, apart from Sini himself, no one in the room would have been able to pronounce his surname.

Gary Harrigan heckled Edd during his Thirds speech but Edd got him with a great comeback. Then Gary got stitched up by Edd and Couch by a premeditated prank whereupon he was asked to come up and collect a special award. He made his way upfront before realising it was a stitch-up, before Couch gave the DJ a nod to play some sort of Pinky & Perky rendition of the tune "Happy Birthday" to everyone's amusement. Luckily it was his birthday or it might have fallen flat. Gary's, not the DJ's.

Des didn't get drunk or take his clothes off. Well not before I left anyhow. It was agreed that it would be amusing to see him in Vince's Lee Coopers one day rather than Des's own Wranglers.

Think that's about it.

All in all, a very good evening, with all teams in good spirit and well represented.

Couch done great in overseeing it all up in the lights.