Match Report

Kuhn in his book about "Scientific revolutions" displayed the proposition that real change only comes in marvellous leaps and bounds and massive ''thought shifts" rather than the previously held belief that change occurs by slow and small steps. If this is indeed the case then the whole contemporary world view is necessarily doodoo, and indeed the universal view of Social Darwinism is put under increasing pressure to be untrue. Therefore the premise that we are all derived from monkeys is a severe oversight, and clearly a lie, but may explain why Toby "I''m a double-lardy" Manchip cannot manage to even leave the floor when flapping for an in-swinging corner. This in footballing terms is sometimes known as ''Come off your lineus an Katchlaball Situation".

Thus from the bible like performance of last week came the spaghetti western like performance of this. Indeed the game would have hardly got off the ground without our latest Hollywood hero joining our ranks in the shape of Stewart "I’m no Lee Van Cleef Double" Savage. Not surprisingly having just arrived from his latest blockbusting movie - The Good, the Bad, and the Fugly" and as always shooting from the hip, the old gunslinger was truly more action packed than ever and without an inky bum in sight! With gritted determination we hassled and harried the opposition into making some unusual errors. In fact at times our game looked neat and compact in phases, but never long or powerful enough to unduly worry the Wickham Park well disciplined defence. But once again we looked hungry and the desire to want the ball was creeping back, something surely lacking for a long while before last week''s win.
Not unsurprisingly Wickham ended outright winners with the score of 4-1, but this was a much better scoreline than against them the last time we met. What we really need is a couple of fast, fit forwards who can run into space and move their defence around a touch.
Indeed the ham-sandwich approach is a tacit but slim tactic to further our less than adventurous outings where sausage rolls do their bit to stifle forward play and roast potatoes get on the wing and cruise to the penalty area without a hint of salt or gravy. Yes the orange juice that invents itself into a peach H2O with a bit of subtle persuasion to the slightly "muff and Jeff" innocent bystander makes good midfield runs but is usually let down by the double diet coke waiting in the defence. In particular the roly-poly motion of the tight back four releases endless energies, only to be exhausted by the up and coming overlapping salt and vinegar crisps, leading to an offside decision, and as always, foul smelling breath.

With this in mind we finished off well and surely deserved our late goal, clinically netted by our other new signing Paul "Slimmer of the Year" Storkey.

So there you have it: a good team performance and a well fought match. Now don’t forget the TRAINING, or I will really go to town on those who don’t turn up in the next match report!

Luv ya .......Jimmy the Fish

Man of The Match....

Stewart "There be Injuns in dem Hills" Savage.....well done....you big sausage.

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For those who get a headache trying to understand Jimmy the Fish here is my version of events.

OK so our winning streak didn''t last long but everybody came out of this game feeling pretty upbeat. One look at the score in the previous match against this team only a few weeks ago will give a pretty good indication why. Basically they stuffed us out of sight in that game but things have changed quite a lot for the Vets and Wickham Park certainly knew they had been in a game this time around. A slight suspicion of offside for the first goal and a late fourth direct from a corner probably flattered Wickham Park. They are a very good side who can pass the ball around and generally make teams look a bit flat footed. This is not laziness from the Vets, it''s just that we are a bit cream crackered and playing three at the back does add a bit more pressure all round.

We had the advantage of running downhill in the first half on a bright sunny morning (no signs of red mist descending). Having scored a couple of goals last week Toby Manchip was forgiven in his attempts to get somebody to take his place in goal - his excuse being that he had spent all evening reviewing videos of Wickham''s previous games but had only concentrated on their defensive formation! As it turned out he was more than a match for the Wickham forward line in producing a number of good saves and was only beaten by a suspiciously offside goal and another one just before half-time that I can''t recall. Defensively we held pretty firm with a sterling job done by Toby Harlow, Stewart Savage and Colin Ebdon. In midfield Chris Ponulak ran himself into the ground ably assisted by Lee Southby, Pat Mongelard, Steve Blanchard and Pompey while up front Paul Storkey and myself ran around but failed to breach the Wickham defence.

The second half saw us revert to four at the back which certainly suited us better. Even uphill and into the sun we managed to press forward and cause Wickham a bit of grief. They did manage to extend their margin but we continued pressing and deservedly pulled one back when substitute Chris Bourlet headed on a cross for Paul Storkey to knock the ball in the back of the net. Late on they knocked in a fourth direct from a corner to run out winners.

This game was a real test of spirit for the Vets coming so soon after a 10-0 thrashing a few weeks early against the same opposition. Even though we lost 4-1 those of us who were there know that a lot of effort was put by all who played and we kept the spirit going right up to the end.

A few words about training.....turn up we need the numbers to make it work.

Rog