Match Report

The Guild returned to winning ways in style. No not the play but the fine post-match nosebag courtesy of Mrs Redman. Mrs R's lovely bangers finished off with lemon drizzle. If only Neil had marked the oppo as closely as he did the cake tin then this result would never have been in doubt. Thanks Kirsty for your efforts and get yourself on Great British Bake Off in a Farnborough shirt. I am sure JR has had that dream!

Pre-match was dominated by the opposition struggling for players; however, they did turn up and we provided them with 3 emergency loans of Daragh, Tom and new boy Robin who all performed far too well in midfield against us. Thanks lads the game would not have gone ahead without you changing sides but next time, not so much running please! I think we have grounds to sue under the Trades Description Act as Old Colfeians were far from it. Grandsons of Old Colfeians more like it. Anyway fair play to them they were keen to leave their homework and Xboxes and turn up and performed beyond their years. I have to compliment the young lads of Old Colfeians as they played well, took decisions in the right spirit and a credit to their manager. We play them again in a couple of weeks but I doubt unlike us, they will look much older. I’ve already pencilled in Little Redman and Little Grainger for that match day squad.

Alan Fines again got us in front after being tripped in the box and converting the resulting penalty. Shipps was back in the Yellow and Red and didn't take long to score his customary goal. I sat back and waited to enjoy total football and await a cricket score....but oh no old habits and two quick goals saw the scores level. One a penalty after Frank Pearce stole the forward's pocket money.

So having gone in the first two games in the lead and ultimately losing, we thought we would try something new and found ourselves 3-2 down at the break. The return of the half-time Jelly Babies, courtesy of the returning No 1 Gary Rosslee, did the trick as they clearly distracted our schoolboy opponents who looked on in envy and we found ourselves level with the third penalty of the game after a fine run by John Redman which was ended with a trip and Simon Davies just about converted. A note of thanks to Simon who graciously stood down to sub to give others a game. Great example and also ran the line with James in the first half. At the break we made the tactical change and switched Frank and James and this finally subdued their midfield and allowed Man of the Match Dean Murphy to emulate his old QPR hero; Ray Wilkins and start to spread the play and it was from two fine passes by Junior Crab out wide, which created the space and allowed Alan to score his second (5 in 3), Shipps (2 in 1) and Jon Redman rounding off a more difficult win than it should have been.

Despite conceding three the defence had a more robust look to it with the return of Neil at right back, Marcus alongside ever dependable Jon Gasson. The midfield tried to play a good brand of football and fought for every ball and the forwards despite giving the oppo defence a few years ran them ragged. Moment of the match has to go to big Jon. Our young opponent tried one too many step overs or perhaps more appropriate Lollipops (Courtesy of Big Ron) and ended up in the touchline bushes. I am not sure if they were nettle stings or acne but a fine challenge and a lesson learned for the young forward..

So perhaps the moral of this story is.....if you want to get a win, referee it yourself! In all seriousness, Farnborough must have one of the oldest populations in the UK if our opposition so far this season is anything to go by. I am not sure others have read the rule book. Anyway, a welcome win boys, we stuck to the task and created some good opportunities. Local derby next week at home against Orpington Vets.

Just to clear up lads, from a distance I appreciated the chants of "the referee is a banker" however, I work in insurance. Nice touch though! Finally, “I make it a rule not to comment on referees and so I will not make an exception for that prat”. Perhaps that it how the oppo manager is feeling but sometimes your players can just be too fast for their own good. Our speed is deceptive, clearly slower than they thought and both clear pens as was the award.

Well done lads.
Referee: Mark Harrington.
Supporters: Barry Grainger, Little Grainger, Mrs Nott and little ones, Little Redman. Mrs Moody and little one.