Match Report

Back by unpopular demand, a weekly look at a team who refuse to let in goals

Our 8th win in 9, 4th clean sheet in a row, and a feeling that if we had started the season in this form then we'd be up the top instead of floundering in mid-table.

Today's game was in Abbey Wood, which is absolutely miles away. Luckily a pitch befitting of downhill slalom skiing was passed fit for purpose. Also we happened not to know that the other team play in red, as do we. This would have been a problem, apart from the fact that the referee was a top bloke who said it was fine, many thanks Brian!

The game started slowly for us, we were missing important players (mainly me) for varying reasons. Some of us were injured. Some had to work. Others just pretended to be at work because they couldn't get a lift with their friends. Naming no names, but that was Scott.

After 20 minutes of playing up a hill you needed a Sherpa to navigate, and not looking too good, my day took a little twist.

For absolutely no reason Dan Rose elbowed his team mate Aaron Harman square in the eye.

Nurse Zander patched him up, but the poor lamb was in an awful state so I stepped forward, a bald Florence Nightingale, and swiftly drove him to hospital.

Once there the triage nurse told us it was a bad cut and he would need to be taken to the "Spastics Unit" at St Thomas'. Aaron's not the sharpest, but I thought that a tad unfair. Apparently she said "Plastics Unit" and I misheard.

Luckily Aaron got patched up and I got home just in time for Match of the Day, what a thoroughly enjoyable afternoon.

In amongst all that Aaron Evans and Luke Foulsham bagged just before half-time to send us up to the dizzy heights of 6th, Europa League beckons.

We've all decided to win both cups this season.