Match Report

The early alarm bells were ringing when Simon ’Mr Reliable’ Reynolds who had taken the kit home the previous Sunday failed to answer his phone that morning so the Farnborough management hedged their bets and brought a spare kit along for the ride just in case.

But ‘oh ye who have little faith’ Si had been waiting solitary by the changing rooms for a good 20 minutes or so while the rest of the team assembled outside by the main busy South London road, Simon’s ears must have been burning!

How apt that we would be playing down at Ha-Ha Road today, because the spectacle on display was a complete joke! If this was sexy football then I think we needed a case of Viagra, cue our opposition who are quite comically known as ‘Inter Vyagra’!

We were playing for the first time down at Woolwich Army Barracks as this corresponding fixture has normally been played at Shootershillian Rugby club a stone’s throw away.

We tinkered with the line up and formation today as we opted for an attacking 3-4-3 formation to cater the “abundance” of attacking options we had at our disposal

G. Rosslee ©

P. Bailey B. Cheesman M. Wright

B. Clunn St. John D. Nott P. Tanton

B. Grainger S. Davies S. Reynolds

Subs

Neil Connelly
Andy Cobham

It didn’t take the Guild too long to fashion an opening with their three-pronged forward line as Barry Grainger was on hand to fire down low to the Vyagra keeper’s left-hand side where he was unlucky not to save the effort as his despairing dive meant he could only tip the ball onto the post and in; all this after some very good link-up play on the edge of the box involving Simon Reynolds, 0-1 OBG’s.

Farnborough refused to take their foot off the gas and doubled the lead within moments of the restart and this time it was Ben Clunn who was on hand to bundle the ball home from a matter of inches after his initial shot had been smartly saved by the keeper, this time Barry Grainger turned provider, 0-2 OBG’s.

From there on Farnborough seemed to be coasting and this had all the potential hallmarks of a cricket score however Rosslee made a complete mess of a routine effort allowing the ball to ricochet back off his knees and allow the very grateful Vyagra forward to fire into an empty net, 1-2 OBG’s. Things got even worse for Rosslee as he hauled down the unchallenged Vyagra midfielder in the penalty area after he was somehow allowed to be played in behind the defence but the resulting penalty was smashed against the bar to keep Farnborough’s lead still intact (in all fairness this was probably due to the fact that the ball had been changed yet again by the referee). Brett Cheesman had to be replaced by Neil Connelly after he sustained the same ankle injury that saw him sidelined for 9 months last season just to compound further misery on Farnborough.

From there on Vyagra managed to fashion a few more chances but some rash finishing in front of goal let them down on a number of occasions and Farnborough caught them with a sucker punch counter attack which resulted in an own goal, to give the away team a 2 goal cushion again, 1-3 OBG’s. Barry was again on hand to net his 2nd of the match before half time to give the Guild a 3 goal cushion going into the interval, 1-4 OBG’s.

The second half was quite possibly the worst football I have ever seen by both teams, Rosslee did not look comfortable (or sober) as he needlessly tipped over a long range effort when it appeared easier to catch the ball and Farnborough continually wasted chances with Barry having more chips in his locker than Intel! Rosslee did make up for his earlier errors with a couple of saves albeit unconvincingly to keep Farnborough lead preserved.

Barry Grainger then beat the offside trap to score his 3rd of the game and his 6th hat-trick in Farnborough colours as he was played in by Simon Reynolds who notched his 8th assist in 2 games, 1-5 OBG’s. There was still time for further panic at the heart of the Farnborough defence as Paul Bailey stuck a toe out only to divert the ball to the smallest player on the pitch to head home from a few yards out to jangle the Farnborough nerves, 2-5 OBG’s.

Jim St John should have scored a 6th for the Guild after some further unselfish play from Simon Reynolds as he beat his man and ran in on goal, but his perfectly weighted pass to St John was hit with a real lack of conviction and the ball trickled past the post to fits of laughter from both sets of players, it had been one of those games……………. to forget!

The ref blew for full time and both teams trudged off the pitch as they were left to reflect on what had been a real disappointing encounter back in the changing rooms. Yours truly made what seemed like the longest journey back to the leafy suburbs of ‘BR6’ to demolish 3 pints of Stella in the ‘Queens Head’ in Green St Green purely for medicinal purposes while nursing a damaged ego!

Next week we are away to Charlton Rangers who typically play at Queen Mary’s on Perry St Chislehurst, however if we play like we played today against a classier opposition it could cause even further embarrassment (let’s just put today down as one of those games).

MOM was split with 6 votes each between Simon Reynolds and Daragh Nott, and yet another example of a crazy game when a player scores a hat-trick and doesn’t get a single vote?!!