Match Report

First half crime report: Met Police Vets v Farnborough OBG Young Vets.
Date: Sunday 19th February 2012.
Time: Approx 10:45am.
Location: The Metropolitan Police Sports Club, Bromley, Kent, BR2 7AL.
Allegations: Crimes against football by 11 male Caucasians aged between 35 and 50.
The Offenders: Gary “Fingers” Rosslee (GK) Neil “Knee-caps” Connelly (LB) Barry “Mr Calm” Simpson (CB) Andy “The Engine” Cobham (CB) Paul “Bodge” Bailey (RB) Matt “Always” Wright (LM) Grant “Clarkey” Gable (CM) Jim “Jumbo” St John (CM) Jason “The Virus” Miller (RM) Pete “BAFTA” Harvey (CF) Simon Davies (CF)
Eyewitnesses: “Rapid Response” Rowan Foggitt, Simon “Mike” Hunt, Daragh “Blood” Nott and Paul “Bad” Brett.
Innocent bystanders: Danny Saines & Paul Tanton.
Statement by: Gary Rosslee.

I witnessed the boys in blue totally outplay a Farnborough Young Vets side inside 20 to 25 minutes of some of the worst first half football I have ever seen. The home team should have opened the scoring in the first 2 minutes when Paul Bailey was adjudged to have made a foul in the penalty box on their very own “Mr Big”.

Up stepped Jerry “Mr Bromley” Dolke but he saw his effort cannon off of the post; one eyewitness (35) claimed Gary Rosslee in the Farnborough goal got the faintest of touches to the ball to keep the scores level. The Met Police pushed forward once more and this time had a scrappy effort cleared off of the line by Barry Simpson again another eyewitness (Anon) claimed the ball had crossed the line.

It didn’t take the Met Police much longer to eventually score after a dangerous ball from the right wing was met at the left hand side far post where Jason Miller was unable to stop his man from getting the vital touch into the Farnborough goal, 1-0 Met Police. The Met soon doubled the lead after some sloppy Farnborough play this time “Mr Big” lashing home inside the near post after the ball was given away not once but twice in a dangerous area. 2-0 Met Police.

The Met Police soon added a third goal after a diagonal free kick from the left wing was met in the area by their unmarked defender, I think this may have been the first time one of the Met defenders had actually touched the ball until now, 3-0 Met Police.

Farnborough unable to string a single pass together were making the game an ugly spectacle for those on the sidelines and making life far too easy for their hosts this time conceding a fourth goal when some further good work by “Mr Bromley” inside the Farnborough penalty box saw him lay off the ball where the grateful Met player cracked home an unstoppable shot into the top corner leaving Rosslee no chance, 4-0 Met Police.

Peter “XXX” Garland of ex Charlton & Newcastle fame had earlier seen his first snap effort fizz just past the post at the scores 1-0 but it was his second “snap” effort that had both sets of players talking. His knee high two-footed tackle nearly broke Pete Harvey’s leg and left the referee with no choice but to send him off and spark a melee on the halfway line. The ref soon blew for half time and the Met went in full of spirits and Farnborough looked totally deflated having easily played their worst football of this season or any other.

Second half match report: Met Police Vets v Farnborough OBG Young Vets.
Date: Sunday 19th February 2012.
Time: Approx 11:35am.
Location: The Metropolitan Police Sports Club, Bromley, Kent, BR2 7AL
Allegations: The best football played this season by 11 male Caucasians aged between 35 and 50.
The Accused: Gary Rosslee (GK) Neil Connelly (LB) Barry Simpson (CB) Paul Brett (CB) Simon Hunt (RB) Matt Wright (LM) Grant Gable (CM) Daragh Nott (CM) Rowan Foggitt (RM) Pete Harvey (CF) Paul Bailey (CF)
Eyewitnesses: Jim St John, Jason Miller, Andy Cobham, and Simon Davies
Innocent bystanders: Danny Saines & Paul Tanton.
Statement by: Gary Rosslee.

With nothing to lose other than their dignity which had been totally destroyed in the first half decided to take the second half to the Met Police and after making several tactical changes it didn’t take long for those changes to pay dividends as Farnborough were awarded a penalty moments after the restart. A cumbersome challenge on Paul Bailey now playing up front gave the visitors an early lifeline as Matt Wright coolly slotted the ball home, 4-1 Met Police. Farnborough were now enjoying some good passages of play and passing the ball around with a new found confidence with some excellent play down each flank courtesy of the likes of Matt Wright on the left and Simon Hunt and Rowan Foggitt making life difficult for the Met down the left. All the while the ever assured Barry Simpson at the heart of the Farnborough defence shored everything up and sniffed out any potential danger that a Met counter attack brought.

The referee then awarded a second penalty to Farnborough much to the frustration of the home team after a minute of debating if the initial challenge was inside or outside the penalty box, in the end the ref pointed to the spot and again Matt Wright stepped up to finish smartly, 4-2 Met Police. With the referee having awarded 3 penalties in the one match and the most yours truly had witnessed in a Vets game he decided he was not done as he gave a 4th penalty of the match and the 3rd to the visiting team; this one was probably the softest penalty awarded of the match but an excellent opportunity for Matt Wright to grab his hat-trick and send the game into a frantic final 10 minutes but alas Matt’s low effort was saved by the trailing foot of the home goalkeeper and as Matt tried to get on the end of the rebound the ball had spent too long in the air and it gave the Met defence and goalkeeper time to safely divert the danger, the scores remained 4-2 Met Police.

By now the game was all Farnborough’s and they were a completely different side from the first half, they were playing without any fear and showed real fight and passion and they soon netted a third goal, this time Rowan Foggitt beating his man with ease on the right wing and cutting into the box where he neatly scored past the onrushing Met police keeper, 4-3 Met Police. Farnborough pressed on for the equaliser but unfortunately time was against them and the Met Police rode out 4-3 winners but they knew they had been in for a real test in the second half and Farnborough could walk off of the pitch with their heads held high.

Next week we are away to STC Sports, who we played last year and lost 3-2 after going in 2-0 up at half time.

MOM was a close one today with Barry “Mr Calm” Simpson just edging out “Rapid Response” Rowan Foggitt but I think everybody involved in the second half deserves a special mention, well done lads.