Match Report

An oxymoron (plural oxymorons or oxymora) (From Greek ὀξύμωρον, "sharp dull") is a figure of speech that combines contradictory terms. Oxymorons appear in a variety of contexts, including inadvertent errors such as ground pilot and literary oxymorons crafted to reveal a paradox.

Examples are
• Dark light
• Living dead
• New classic
• Old news
• Open secret
• Vintage modern

And my new favorite
• ‘Robbed by the police’

Today’s oppo at Farrow fields were the formidable and always unforgettable ‘Met Police’ who had drafted in a couple of new additions to their squad players that always seemed to raise their games against the OBG, Jerry and Shaun of ‘Lloyds Golden Oldies’ fame.

Farnborough lined up as follows

Gary Rosslee (un-hungover this week) – GK
Simon Hunt – LB
Matt Wright – CB
Paul Brett- CB
Richard Davies – RB
Neil Connelly – LM
Grant Gable – CM
Daragh Nott – CM
Jason Miller – RM
Simon Davies – CF
Pete Harvey – CF

Subs:
Paul Tanton
Mark Friend
Dave Rainsbury

Neither team’s goalkeeper was called into action in the first 45 minutes; in fact the only memorable save from either keeper would have been a last ditch tackle from Rosslee playing as emergency sweeper as the Met tried to capitalise with the wind behind them. One of the reasons the OBG were not under any real pressure would have been for the centre back pairing of Paul Brett and Matt Wright. The Met had countless corners in the first half all of which seemed to land on Paul Brett’s head; some of them were cleared to safety and others nearly ended up nestling in his own goal, and Paul is no stranger to the occasional OG! It’s probably fair to say that Paul Brett played his best game for Farnborough today against a muscular and physical Met Police team.

There was a moment of madness in the first half where tempers flared and yours truly witnessed a first in a Vets game. Referee Steve Palmer brandished a yellow card to Grant Gable for a reckless challenge and then gave a red card to the over zealous Met Police player who it turns out Monday to Friday is a mild mannered bank manager (a good enough reason not to go overdrawn in itself). Not wanting the game spoilt or running the risk of the Met walking off the pitch Farnborough very sportingly suggested to the ref that the Met could replace their player who had been red carded for a substitute. Half time soon approached and Farnborough went into the break with nothing but praise for one another; a far cry from the previous few weeks.

The second half was quite embryonic when the referee gave the Met police a dubious penalty; Matt Wright was harshly penalised for handball in the box after he excellently tackled the former Lloyds player but his trailing arm touched the ball on the floor. Up stepped the Met winger/forward who duly obliged by slotting the ball home; 0-1 Met Police.

Farnborough were unlucky not to go level when Pete Harvey smashed one of his trademark left foot efforts from outside the box but he saw his effort cannon off of the left hand post. Moments later Farnborough did have the ball in the back of the net after one of the movements of the game but the Met linesman gave offside. Neil Connelly released Pete Harvey down the left wing; he cut inside and squared the ball for Grant Gable who stroked the ball home but the goal was chalked off.

From that moment it was all Farnborough in terms of territorial possession and this season’s top scorer Grant Gable was guilty of missing a decent chance as his effort sailed over the bar after some great work by Jason Miller out on the right flank. Miller then brought out the first save for the Met keeper when his cross looked like it may have caught him out but the Met #1 did well to tip the ball over for a corner. Grant's blushes were soon saved however when Paul Brett who had stayed up from the resulting corner managed to get a flick on to a long Miller throw-in and loop the ball over the Met defence and goalkeeper to level the scores. One all with ten minutes to go. 1-1.

What happened next was daylight robbery, Farnborough for all their hard work were undone with two sucker punch goals in as many minutes. The Met penalty scorer who up to this point of the game had been kept quiet by Richard Davies at right back somehow found an extra yard on him and delivered a pinpoint cross to the unmarked Jerry Dolke who had all the time in the world or so it seemed to pick his spot from an unmarked header 7 yards out. 1-2 Met Police. Dolke was then on hand to double his goal tally for the day and again the defending left a little to be desired. Mark Friend who was now on for the solid Simon Hunt at left back tried his best to shepherd his man but couldn’t do enough to stop Dolke getting a strike in and not the cleanest of strikes as all would agree. The goal had the same hallmarks of Carlos Tevez’s goal for Man City at Stamford Bridge when Hilarious – erm I mean Hilario was in goal and the ball travelled as fast as Danny Saines does when it’s his turn to buy a round at the bar! 1-3 Met police and a very flattering scoreline.

Referee Steve Palmer blew for full time and the dejected Young Vets trundled off back to the changing rooms leaving a select few to put the goals and nets away (cheers for that).

A quick bit of history for you: the last reported mugging in Farnborough village until today was in 1710, at least Dick Turpin wore a mask!

MOM was Paul Brett for an outstanding display in defending.