Match Report

Stinky Vets come up Smelling of Roses

After last week's impressive performance against…ahem the “Old Tamponians” yours truly was given the honour of kit duty. Memo to self ‘always check that the kit is completely dry before putting it back in the kit bag ready for the following week otherwise it will smell worse than a wet dog’!! This was going to take nothing short of a real blood sweat and tears performance to help us mask the awful stench the OBG kit was omitting!

Sadly however we didn’t even need to get out of first gear today against a very lacklustre Avery Hill Vets team who are normally one of the more organised teams we have played against over the years.

Today we missed Paul Tanton and Richard Davies who were our goalscorers from last week's victory, we lined up as follows.

Gary Rosslee - GK
Danny Saines - LB
Tony Simpson -CB
Matt Wright - CB
Darragh Nott - RB
Neil Connelly - LM
Richard Cooke - CM
Jim ST John – CM
Adam Dawson - RM
Pete Harvey - CF
George Kleanthos – CF

We did initially have 2 subs but Robin Lipscomb kindly agreed to help out the oppo so Simon Harvey was our solitary substitute on the sidelines.

Now before I proceed to write about today’s match I would like to ask you all a question, what is the most memorable thing you ever bought for £11.99?

For yours truly it was a certain DVD (that still remains hidden under the bed to this day). Now if you were to ask Richard Cooke the same question he would reply "my new football boots". Many of us including me were unable to determine what make they actually were but the cries of "Kicksters" courtesy of Pete Harvey every time Richard touched the ball led us to believe this must have been the make.

All joking aside Richard’s boots must have at least trebled in price courtesy of a 10-minute perfect hat-trick, now before you all dart off to the nearest Primark to snap up a pair of these babies lets just bring you up to speed with the rest of the match!

So with 10 minutes gone Farnborough found themselves 3-0 up courtesy of as I mentioned earlier a Richard Cooke perfect hat-trick, and there was still time for Adam Dawson to net himself a hat-trick and also Jumbo to get his first goal for the Vets after much pleading with Pete Harvey to pass the ball to him with the goal at his mercy.

We went in at half time 7-0 up, and although some of our play at times was very impressive and easy on the eye there was also an empty feeling due to the real lack of competition, ironically enough the Older Vets had rearranged their fixture today and were playing against Cudham whom we know would have given us a much better run for our money. Still we only have another week before we face them.

We kicked off the second half and it seemed that Robin Lipscomb's Phil Brown style half time team talk may have given them impetus to probe us but unfortunately it didn’t!

Pete Harvey added a second half 4 goal haul to take his season tally to 20 on a day where every shot we had seemed to go in, I cannot remember their GK making one save. Saying that, Avery Hill were unlucky not to score from a corner when their headed effort hit the upright and bounced away to safety.

Rosslee pulled off the save of the match (well it was the only save of the match) at the final death when he dived high and left and caught the ball as it was destined for the top corner, the usual negative cries of "one for the cameras" echoed around the pitch, cheers lads! I have just been informed by Vic that photos are now available to buy from the club shop!

So there you had it, today was a tale of smelly kits, cheap football boots, 3 hat-tricks and 11 top-drawer goals.

Next week should be a slightly different affair with the arrival of Cudham to Farnborough, I’d certainly settle for another quiet day like today but I doubt that will happen!