Match Report

A Farnborough performance that was as forgettable as a beige Austin Allegro, whereas Red Velvet accelerated smoothly like an Alfa Sud. Just like all ‘good’ Alfa’s there were times when things went wrong, but somehow the team at Red Velvet managed to fix it at all costs. Whereas with the Allegro, there was a lot of teeth sucking, and despite kicking all the tyres it just wouldn’t start.

The FOBG back four wasn’t close enough today, and failed to push up as a unit, leaving a huge inspection pit of a gap between themselves and the midfield. Red Velvet were able to indicate their intentions, but Farnborough failed to look in their mirrors and deal with the problem. Red Velvet hit the accelerator but all FOBG did was find the brake, with two quick goals in the space of a 10 minute spell midway through the first half that left Sam stranded on a Zebra crossing with traffic whizzing past either side of him.

So 2-0 down and then we began to properly look under the bonnet, we created passing places for Adam Steward to run into and gradually got back in the game. Sam blocked a shot well and threw a quick pass out to Adam, he got it down the central reservation and Kane was able to clip it over the goalkeeper and underneath the bar to make it 2-1. It reminded me of that great player Max Headroom from years ago. So we were back in it, and at the pit stop, fuelling up for refreshments, the head mechanic gave us our orders, however it must have been the wrong fuel, as our engines labouured and we looked exhausted.

James Behagg seemed to have found his slicks, and was again winning everything in his aerial exchanges. The rest of us tried to find the boost button, but we forgot we were driving an Allegro! In fact it was as if we had all been out to a party the night before and realised we were not driving. So we had too much to drink and hoped that the taxi would get us all the way home before dawn…………….oh some of us had done exactly that! This cab was going nowhere without payment and so we walked in at 7am!

Next week we need to get a Dolomite Sprint on early doors!

MOM: Jeremy?